The purpose of this blog:
I am not a counselor. I am not a doctor. I am just a woman who's working through the cards that life dealt her on a blog. I have a wonderful doctor, an excellent counselor, and as positive of an attitude as I can muster! This is a blog for me, to aid me in my days and recovery of my eating disorder.
Yes I realize that I am "putting myself out there" to be judged. That's okay. Some people will get it, many won't, and some just might learn something or see themselves in what I've written (which is excellent!).
What *isn't* the purpose?
I'm not looking for a diagnosis or counseling on this blog/the internetz. I have them all in "real life," and it's important that I have "flesh and blood" help! I'm also not looking for people to help me dig back into my past or anything like that either - that's rather redundant for me, and if I have some issues that need resolving from my past, my counselor will help me with them (and has).
If I acquire some readers, great! I would love to have them - I need to reiterate that I believe support and friends are always wonderful. If not, great! This blog is truly for my personal benefit.
I may get some nasty or unsavory comments eventually or even comments from people who think they understand but really don't. That's okay - I'm prepared for that and will not waste my time with responding. :)
Here's some info about my personal journey in a nutshell:
(Quick info: Which illnesses are mental illnesses? Here ya go! I have a mood disorder (manic depression aka bipolar) and have had an eating disorder (bulimia) for the past 10 years.)
I have suffered from bulimia (and two long boughts with "bul-orexia) daily and beyond since 2001. I began my journey into recovery in January 2011 with help from my doctor J and my counselor B and sheer determination. I am finally more stable in my mood than I have ever been in my life thanks to Dr. J's management of my medications (see: my manic depression below), and I am tired of slowly killing myself through the daily physical and mental torment of my eating disorders. Plus I learned that I am supposed to have major surgery in the early fall, and I want to be healthy for that!
(Quick info: Which illnesses are mental illnesses? Here ya go! I have a mood disorder (manic depression aka bipolar) and have had an eating disorder (bulimia) for the past 10 years.)
I have suffered from bulimia (and two long boughts with "bul-orexia) daily and beyond since 2001. I began my journey into recovery in January 2011 with help from my doctor J and my counselor B and sheer determination. I am finally more stable in my mood than I have ever been in my life thanks to Dr. J's management of my medications (see: my manic depression below), and I am tired of slowly killing myself through the daily physical and mental torment of my eating disorders. Plus I learned that I am supposed to have major surgery in the early fall, and I want to be healthy for that!
I was officially diagnosed with manic depression when I was about 21, but I have definitely suffered from it since I was a little one. I have been incorrectly diagnosed several times before correctly diagnosed. I also suffer from high anxiety and am prone to panic attacks. Me? I am high energy and high strung ... or I'm low energy and asleep. There's really little in between.
I have an identical twin sister. I do not talk about her on my blog because I respect her privacy, but I will tell you that she suffers from a different strain of unipolar depression/manic depression. Hers is very difficult - she is the most difficult case that Dr. J, in all of his years, has seen. She has never had bulimia or anorexia in that respect of the "eating disorder" ... but she does have very disordered eating. That's all I will tell about her.
My parents are divorced. Addiction and mental illness definitely came between my parents, but things are definitely for the best now that they're not together anymore.
The addiction gene, disordered and addictive eating (i.e. eating to "soothe yourself"), and mental illness of various forms runs heavily in my father's family tree - his family tree is riddled with it on both of his parents' sides.
Some of my favorite literature on manic depression and eating disorders:
Waiting by Marya Hornbacher
Sane by Marya Hornbacher
Wasted by Marya Hornbacher
Madness by Marya Hornbacher
An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
Touched with Fire by Kay Redfield Jamison
The Dark Side of Innocence by Terri Cheney
Manic by Terri Cheney
Manic-Depressive Illness by Fredereick K. Goodwin and Kay Redfield Jamison
Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher G. Fairburn
Overcoming Your Eating Disorders by Robin F. Apple and W. Stewart Agras
Some great websites for articles or information:
APA
BP Hope Magazine (if you have bipolar or live with someone who does in your life, please get this magazine!)
Find Your Local NAMI
Psych Central
National Institute of Mental Health
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Mayo Clinic
More to Come!
